UnBoxing the Love Assignment

This month I will give you a series of assignments to help you determine how to love on yourself, without sacrificing yourself. These assignments explore how “you” make yourself feel and not how you want “someone” to make you feel. One of the main goals will be to identify why you have not made your self-care a priority and how to improve this. Our first assignment will be a journal entry. Grab a notebook, pen, spa candle, or diffuser and sit in a quiet space. I hope you’re excited.

Let’s begin!

Assignment No. 1

Ask yourself, “how much love do I pour into myself?”

For instance, would you allow those you love to go two days without showering? Do you allow them to walk around unkempt? (Ashy skin, a disheveled appearance, foul body odor, etc.) Then why is it acceptable for you to treat yourself in this manner?

“It’s not okay…
BUT”

fill in the blank.

I’m a mom of __
Everyone depends on me, so __
I don’t have the disposable income to splurge on myself, therefore __

Ponder this, why Is it okay for you to treat yourself like an afterthought?

Please do not say you don’t, when your actions have told a different story. Let’s get to the heart of the matter. Be honest and actually write the truth down in your journal. This is our starting point. Allow yourself to go on this journey.

Could it be that you Are you worried everything will fall apart if you took time out for yourself?

Or, do you believe you have to mistreat yourself in order to have your love reciprocated?

“no”, then why?

why are you putting yourself last?

Assignment No.2

ask yourself, “How much do I want to be loved?”

Be honest. Remember, you have to love yourself unconditionally first before you can expect someone else to.

I dare you to love on yourself UNCONDITIONALly throughout this month’s love assignments.

Allow yourself to be completely vulnerable. Are you willing to do that?

I was in my late 20’s when I found out that there was a difference between “joy” and “happiness”. I guess up until then I never really thought about it. I was so used to using the words interchangeably that, to me, they meant the same thing; when in fact, they don’t. Who knew! Did you know?

What do you think is the difference between joy and happiness?

Okay, now here is the actual difference. Joy is an inner feeling. Happiness is an outward expression. Joy endures hardship and trials and connects with meaning and purpose. A person pursues happiness but chooses joy. My pastor shared the difference with me and it changed my outlook on the way I live.

” When I learned the difference, I looked for my Joy and protected it at all cost. My Joy is invaluable to me. It has bought me the peace of mind I needed during uncertain times. My Joy keeps me grounded. My Joy allows me a multitude of avenues to be experience happiness.”

Assignment No. 3

Ask yourself, “What brings me joy?”

Now let it sit with you for a second. Really consider what makes your heart feel full.

What makes you happy?

Are you sure? How often do you experience this happiness?

Now iT’s time to commit to an action. We all deserve to be joyful. This week i want you to commit to engaging or practicing something that brings you joy.

Please share your experience with your activity below.

Understanding what DOES NOT bring you joy and happiness is just as powerful as understanding what does. Truth be told before I knew what I loved about myself I knew what I didn’t like. Chances are you know what makes you feel empty or sad. Someone may have made you aware of that “thing” or you may have seen someone that was so starkly different from you, but you were instantly attracted to their energy and you knew immediately you wanted whatever “it” was they had. Either way, knowing is half the battle so let’s get started.

Assignment No. 4

MAKE A LIST AND CHECK IT TWICE.

Take a regular sheet of lined paper and divide it in half vertically. On one half make a list of everything that sucks the joy right out of you, dims your light, or brings you bitterness. It may be emotional but it’s worth it.

WHat is the opposite of everything you just wrote down?

Write it down on the second half of your sheet.

Now that you have your list completed. I want you to reflect on a time you experienced the things that brought you joy that you listed on the 2nd half of your sheet.

I didn’t realize that wearing perfume (on my clothes, not skin) made me smile until I remembered always seeing my mother finish off her date night ensemble with a sprits of her favorite fragrance. Now, I fragrance myself with oils and butters because of the nostalgia.

The purpose of this assignment is to take a deep dive into identifying then defining your joy and happiness during your at-home spa sessions. I hope you discover something wonderful about yourself and you’ll share it below.